Monday, March 30, 2009

Monday Update...

Things are looking up at least where his health is concerned. There are other worries for other days.

Anyway - He has been up and around some today, though not without its challenges. The IVs came out and were replaced with a picc catheder. This allows all the tubes he needs to go into his arms and frees up his hands. This will also let him get the IV meds after he leaves the hospital.

The medicine they were giving him for pain didn't work and caused hallucinations so the doctor got him off of it today and his head cleared. We are still working on the pain, but still its getting a little better. He is eating more and is talking about coming home. His color was better and that helped. We still have a fight, but at least this is looking better.

Thank you for all your love and support and your prayers, they are still needed.

Sitting alone, trying to be strong for all those that need me...

I hate nights sitting alone. I haven't felt this alone in at least six years. I feel the love and support of everyone through this challenge, but sometimes I still feel like I am facing it alone. These last few months have been one thing after another, and then when something looked up for a second where I could catch my breath and hope to make plans, something else came raining down on me. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that after the trials come the blessings, at this moment all I can say is, this better be good.

I feel torn the whole time, I need to be with Pete, he is my life, and I need to be with my boys, they are my life as well. They are also confused and don't know what is going on around them. They know that daddy is sick and in the hospital and they know they want to go with Mommy when she leaves. Lainey is on spring break and being the teenager she wants to have fun and play with her friends. I understand that as well which is partly why it is difficult to tell her no when she is helping me so much right now, but she keeps pusing me for more, knowing exactly what she is doing. I don't think she quite grasps the concept of family sometimes. I hate the dejected look that follows a maybe or a no. She just doesn't understand that there are reasons behind it and that sometimes she can accept a no without pouting, but I guess that is just teenagers.

Pete's mom is driving me nuts, she tells me I have to do this, and I have to do that, and she is googling all the bad stuff to make me and her insane. She is worried and I understand, but does she see how I need to be with him and I probably grasp the situation as well if not better than she does. I have to be positive or I break down and I can't break down because I have to be strong for everyone. It's like I told Lainey I am supreme commander of this universe. I don't think she completely gets that either.

I tried several times to leave tonight, but he needed me. His head hurt him so bad. How can I leave when he is like that? He was babbling incoherently and he was frustrated that I didn't understand. I tried, but he is on so many meds.

So the to do list *partially according to his mother, some duh included.

1. Get a job, and I think I am supposed to do this while he is in the hospital, but if I do this we don't qualify for the help to get this paid for which means massive bills because still no insurance and it wouldn't likely be covered anyway

2. Find a doctor for him and myself. This one is from his mother. I am trying to keep it all in the hospital so i am only in debt there.

3. Keep up with my online class so it can help me accomplish #1.

Other misc. to do.

Make sure my boys and Lainey know they are loved and cared for even if I am not around a lot.

Get my house in order, do you know how hard it is to keep something clean when you are worried about someone else and sorta feel crummy yourself. Add two boys making a mess and you have nearly impossible. another factor, not my strong suit to begin with.

Try to stay strong for Pete, the boys, Lainey, and My mother in law.


When do I get to fall apart? Never. It is my job to be the strong one.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

And the newest diagnosis in our series.....

Cryptococcal Menengitis. They started him on antifungal medication through the IV this evening and it seems like it is already helping. He ate part of a sandwich and some chips. This is more than he has eaten in a few weeks and he seemed to be holding it down. I think they finally got it right which makes me feel better.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Doctors....

They got the cultures back today. He doesn't have bacterial, its viral. So they just manage his pain and nausea. Trying to get him to keep down food. It will be at least another overnight in the hospital. This is a tough thing for me to go through. I can only imagine how it is for him.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Does it ever end?

Pete has been diagnosed with Bacterial Menengitis. So he gets to stay in the hospital at least overnight and the rest of us are blessed with taking antibiotics.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Some baby booties.



I am going to add ribbon to these in pink or blue and I am also going to try a different pattern. I like the ones Grandma makes so much better. I will post pictures of other projects as I take pictures of them. I have an afghan that is going to take awhile that I am making for Pete.

Pictures of the stitches






Some of these are not so great, but they are what they are.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sick, Sick, Sick, and an ER Trip!

We have had sick around our house for about two weeks. Last week we took Wyatt to the doctor with an ear infection. He did pretty well, but he and Jackson both had sore ears and coughs.

I have had a sore throat, headache, cough and massive chest congestion. Pete has been down with a migraine and sinus trouble. He has had symptoms all over the map making the headaches worse. I want this all to be over, I thought Pete was feeling better today except he had been sleeping so much that he didn't sleep last night so it was hitting him again tonight.

Today I was in the other room and all of the sudded I hear this screeching from Jackson. He had cut his hand on a glass that I should have thrown away two days ago. It was cracked and the boys must have finished breaking it. I had blood all over my kitchen. I grabbed the closest dishtowel until I could look at it, Pete said it was a long gash so it was off to Valley Medical for the express care, the doctor there wasn't very gentle and we couldn't get Jackson to calm down. So they sent us to the ER where they could sedate him if necessary.

So we got to the ER, had Pete's mom pick up Wyatt and waited a little bit. Luckily a kid holding a bloody towel will bump you up in line in the ER. He got in and while we were waiting for a doctor they brought in three ambulances from a fire downtown. So the PA came in to stich up his finger. He was under Pete's coat so we didn't notice he wet his pants while he was waiting. I think he was just so traumatized. I went home and Pete stayed with him. He got to meet a fireman. I brought back some new clothes for Jackson and a new shirt for Pete. When I got there he was all stiched up and happy again. I will post the pictures later I need a minute to get them off of my cameras. He came out of the hospital with three stitches, a couple of latex gloves, a stuffed dog (the ones that people make and donate), a bunch of stickers and some bandaids that he refuses to use.

Now I am in the middle of making a King Cake for Lainey's school project tomorrow. Needless to say it has been a long day.