hmmmm.....

Thumper, from Bambi, had a saying - " If you can't say something nice, don't say nuttin' at all." I am really trying not to say something not nice, so I don't blog as of late. I will blog about what is going on in our lives soon. Right now I have some rage and some things I would like to say to someone to give them a piece of my mind. Unfortunately, I am in a biased position and she probably wouldn't listen anyway.

What I will say is I am here to support my husband in any way I can and I hate to see others make him hurt.

When all you can see on your plate is what you don't like...

We were sitting at dinner tonight. Jackson wasn't liking something I put on his plate. At that moment he couldn't see the things on his plate that he liked. I commented on this and mom said, "We all do that. When something is going wrong in our lives, we can't see what is going right so everything in our life seems bad." It is so true. When life happens all you can see is what is going wrong. I guess that is why we are told to count our blessings.

Pete bought me a framed thought for Christmas. It said - "We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count." - Neal A. Maxwell

When it rains...

Okay so since the other job fell through I tried to hold on to my job at the school. Unfortunately enrollment dropped and they don't have the enrollment to keep me. This bites. That is probably the nicest way I know how to say it.

On another note....

Well related...

I told Wyatt I could take him to school tomorrow. He asked me why. I told him I didn't have a job anymore. He said, "You passed?" Leave it to a six year old to give you a little perspective.

Cancel that last post.

So my job turned out to be a bust. I am unable to carry my own professional liability insurance and that is what this company requires, therefore I don't have the job anymore. I am hoping this is for the best and that something really great will come along but I am losing heart over the matter. I just need one break. Something that will hold us so we can be independent again. I understand trials and everything like that, but this one feels so ongoing! Keep on keeping on I guess.

Long time no post...

So its been awhile. I am not even sure anyone is reading.

So the news.

I will be done with my job at Falls Valley Elementary on January 31. It is the first job I have left voluntarily since I left the copy center on the University of Idaho campus. I am excited for the next move. I will be working for Sullivan Mental Health Services in Idaho Falls. I am completely excited. I will be a PSR (Psycho-social Rehabilitation) Specialist. I will be starting with 2 clients but even that will give me at least what I am making now. The growth opportunities are great and it is right along the lines of what my goals are. I also have one person to give me a letter of reccomendation for grad school. This is starting to form into a real goal and a real plan. Maybe this will work out afterall. I know it is what I am supposed to do, it has to work out, right?

Pete and the boys are good. We spent most of the last couple of weeks with the Jetta in the shop. Boy isn't that fun?

I love music!

I love to listen to music. What I listen to depends on my mood. Sometimes when I am cleaning I need something loud, or with a good beat. Sometimes its Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin. It is just a fun song with high energy that gets me cleaning.

When I am down or stressed I usually listen to something by Michael McLean Usually Hold on, The Light Will Come or You're Not Alone. It helps me feel better and brings peace.

When I am driving it is a little bit of everything.

My Christmas music contains everything from The Forgotten Carols to Twisted Christmas. I did realize this year, I need more variety. More A capella (Love Straight No Chaser's version of 12 Days of Christmas).

Can a person change?

I have been watching shows lately, many of them ask - Can a person change?

I think a person that wants to change, can. The Lord can work wonders. I have seen the Atonement of Christ work wonders, in my life and the lives of the people around me. The only problem with change, there is a past that was not in alignment with what you are now. There is something that needed to cause the change.

People, the flawed people, have a hard time letting go of what is in the past. It makes it more difficult for someone who really needs it to change. When the people around them don't let the past go, it is an ever present spectre in our lives. It comes back to knock you backwards. Change is not an easy thing to accomplish. It is a journey, I am still on this journey. Sometimes, I wish the past could just be forgotten. I want to scream - "I AM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE!!!!!!!!"

Please, forget the things I did to offend, and I will try to forget your bad stuff. Please forgive me, while I try to forgive you. Please trust that I am trying my best to be my best self I will be patient and trust that you are doing the same.

The past is something that people don't need thrown in their faces, I hope I can be the person that leaves yours alone. I guess it is all part of my journey. I had to type this tonight, my mind was swimming.