And then from out of the blue....
The last couple weeks have been hard. Like emotionally exhausted, grief-filled hard. I left work on 6/12/2019 at 3:30 as usual in order to make it home in time for a four o'clock class. This puts me in the door at 3:45 and gives me 15 minutes to catch up with Pete before heading up to my room for two and a half hours. This class was winding down and I only had two sessions left. No big deal.
Pete's uncle had passed away earlier in the day and he was trying to figure out if he needed to head up to Lewiston for a memorial. We were just doing our usual small talk and I got a message from my sister. She said that Mom was on her way to the hospital because Dad had been taken to the emergency room. It said that he had been found passed out in the parking lot at work. He had been having some trouble with bronchitis and another infection so we thought it was probably related to that. I must have known something was wrong because I flippantly said to Pete, "My dad trumps your uncle" prior to going upstairs to start my class.
I started class as usual and within the first ten minutes, I had a call from my mom. I wasn't going to avoid that call so I paused my camera. I had been doing that anyway trying to strategize with Pete about going to my parents to deal with this. The call was the call no one ever wants to get, my mom let me know that my dad was gone. After a moment of shock and tears, not knowing what to say, I got off the phone with my mom in order to let her call others that needed to be called. Then I had to turn my camera back on and get out of class, guest speaker and all.
From there, my brain didn't know what to do. I informed a couple of my work friends and a couple other close friends. I didn't have any funeral information and unfortunately could only make one trip so I kind of froze about travel plans. My friend from work brought pizza for the boys, I had no appetite and Pete got out of his HOA meeting. Pete took me out to try to get me to eat. The phone rang multiple times - my relief society president and my brother checking on me. I found that my brothers' experience was mirroring mine, cycling through emotion and bad humor. Thanks, Cal for calling, I needed to feel connected to you guys.
I fully intended on putting in a full day the next day even though they were already cancelling my appointments. I had a couple that needed addressing. I ended up going in for an hour and a half so that I could let them know what I needed. I will never be able to express how grateful I am to have such a supportive group at work.
Once I got done getting things arranged at work, I went home. That was a difficult drive. I waited for tidbits of information as my siblings as they went to the funeral home with mom and made arrangements. I am the oldest and apparently the furthest away still. Everyone made it home Wednesday night, responsible me had laundry and work to worry about since I control my schedule for the most part and have my own clients. Somehow the laundry got done and we got away. I made calls from the car to dad's friends, siblings, and step mom with funeral arrangements. It helped me to be helpful.
When I got home, I made a beeline to my mom. I just wanted to hug my mom. It was so hard to believe that I would not interact with my dad again in this life. At least my final words to him were "I love you." After that was a gauntlet of hugs from brothers-in-law and my siblings. More to follow...
Pete's uncle had passed away earlier in the day and he was trying to figure out if he needed to head up to Lewiston for a memorial. We were just doing our usual small talk and I got a message from my sister. She said that Mom was on her way to the hospital because Dad had been taken to the emergency room. It said that he had been found passed out in the parking lot at work. He had been having some trouble with bronchitis and another infection so we thought it was probably related to that. I must have known something was wrong because I flippantly said to Pete, "My dad trumps your uncle" prior to going upstairs to start my class.
I started class as usual and within the first ten minutes, I had a call from my mom. I wasn't going to avoid that call so I paused my camera. I had been doing that anyway trying to strategize with Pete about going to my parents to deal with this. The call was the call no one ever wants to get, my mom let me know that my dad was gone. After a moment of shock and tears, not knowing what to say, I got off the phone with my mom in order to let her call others that needed to be called. Then I had to turn my camera back on and get out of class, guest speaker and all.
From there, my brain didn't know what to do. I informed a couple of my work friends and a couple other close friends. I didn't have any funeral information and unfortunately could only make one trip so I kind of froze about travel plans. My friend from work brought pizza for the boys, I had no appetite and Pete got out of his HOA meeting. Pete took me out to try to get me to eat. The phone rang multiple times - my relief society president and my brother checking on me. I found that my brothers' experience was mirroring mine, cycling through emotion and bad humor. Thanks, Cal for calling, I needed to feel connected to you guys.
I fully intended on putting in a full day the next day even though they were already cancelling my appointments. I had a couple that needed addressing. I ended up going in for an hour and a half so that I could let them know what I needed. I will never be able to express how grateful I am to have such a supportive group at work.
Once I got done getting things arranged at work, I went home. That was a difficult drive. I waited for tidbits of information as my siblings as they went to the funeral home with mom and made arrangements. I am the oldest and apparently the furthest away still. Everyone made it home Wednesday night, responsible me had laundry and work to worry about since I control my schedule for the most part and have my own clients. Somehow the laundry got done and we got away. I made calls from the car to dad's friends, siblings, and step mom with funeral arrangements. It helped me to be helpful.
When I got home, I made a beeline to my mom. I just wanted to hug my mom. It was so hard to believe that I would not interact with my dad again in this life. At least my final words to him were "I love you." After that was a gauntlet of hugs from brothers-in-law and my siblings. More to follow...
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