Flynn Family

We went last Friday and got things started for SSI and Disability. We will see how smoothly that goes. Pete has been having some better days. And the bad days are more okay than bad so I am thankful for that. We have another appointment on Tuesday the 18th. I think he is supposed to have a CT scan that day and then visit with the neurosurgeon. I am hoping for good news like that we won't have to do the shunt, but I am prepared for anything. I was sitting in Sunday school yesterday not thinking much of it just wanting it to be over, I have never really enjoyed Sunday School, lol. We were talking about Joseph Smith's time in the Liberty Jail (such a contradiction-Liberty Jail). Anyway we were talking about the prayer and the Lord's answer to that prayer (D&C 121 I think) and Sister Young pointed out one thing that the Lord told Joseph. He called him "my son" and that just hit me so hard. It was like this powerful calm or peace or answer for me and everything I ...

Wow so many changes suddenly happening...We are packing up the apartment so we don't have the bills to worry about in case of an extended utah stay... I am guessing we have to be in the general area for treatments and follow up for the next 18 months... We will put things in storage in Pete's grandma's garage until we find someplace to settle. Pete told me the other day that he feels that is where we need to me. It is so refreshing to hear him put it that way and that it is his idea... He has appointments on the 3rd and 4th of August. The 4th stinks because it is our anniversery, maybe i could convince one of my sisters to let us go out, hint hint.. Lainey will be staying up here under the care of one of her friend's family. I don't know where Jackson will continue his schooling, I think I will have him start first grade in Ririe if we haven't settled before then. Hopefully I can find some job opportunity. We will be leaving Lewiston behind next Friday, my mothe...

Okay so I am probably due an update. Car. Check. Pete Home. CHECK! Pete is still having to work through this -- slow to incubate - slow to go away-- He has good and bad days. It seems two steps forward, one back, but all in all he is doing a lot better. Lainey has been visiting with the Missionaries lately and has been reading the Book of Mormon. It suprised me. They were here checking on Pete and on me and she volunteered that she wanted to find a church. I think it is wonderful that she is looking for any guidance. She went with me to stake conference, but was sick last week. So we will see what happens this week. I need to get those boys to be good. I know they need to get used to it but any ideas will help. Pete is very supportive of all of this even though he isn't ready for it himself. As far as I am concerned, most of this (at least on my part) is due to him being so sick and me finding myself in a dark place (a few posts back) I hadn't been in that place since before I...

I hate nights sitting alone. I haven't felt this alone in at least six years. I feel the love and support of everyone through this challenge, but sometimes I still feel like I am facing it alone. These last few months have been one thing after another, and then when something looked up for a second where I could catch my breath and hope to make plans, something else came raining down on me. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that after the trials come the blessings, at this moment all I can say is, this better be good. I feel torn the whole time, I need to be with Pete, he is my life, and I need to be with my boys, they are my life as well. They are also confused and don't know what is going on around them. They know that daddy is sick and in the hospital and they know they want to go with Mommy when she leaves. Lainey is on spring break and being the teenager she wants to have fun and play with her friends. I understand that as well which is partly ...

I guess it is September and you are all due an update, whoever you all are. Started my new job the last week of August so I have been going two weeks. Working four ten hour shifts starting at ten in the morning, Monday thru Thursday. It is amazing how tired you can get sitting in front of a radio waiting for something to happen. I have been getting better at hearing the things I need to and responding as necessary. I never knew dispatching was so complicated. It also gives me a different outlook on things. I see news stories about shootings of police officers and I think about how hard that was for the dispatcher to hear that and stay in control. However, I do think that this will be a good job for me and I hope the improvement continues. I think this is something I really want and didn't even know it. I am just glad Pete knows me and encouraged me to apply back in April. Still waiting on my insurance cards to show up. Because of the new job I had to put the boys in daycare....

So this really cool thing happened last night. I was checking my email and stuff online and I get this call. I don't have it in my phone book so I am curious especially since it was almost 9. It was about a resume I sent in awhile back. I hate turning down job because I am waiting for a background check and I feel like I am in limbo. I explained this to the guy and he took me off the list for the sales job, but told me if the other job fell through to give him a call and set up an interview and that he might have something for me. To me this is just way cool that suddenly people want me. It is a nice feeling after so much rejection.

I have been waiting for this phone call for who knows how long. The one that says "When do you want to start?" I got that call this morning and it was such a relief. There is still paperwork and background checks but still this is fabulous. I will be working at the Nez Perce County Sheriff's office as a dispatcher. It will be a new challenge but it is such a relief that I will be able to take care of my kids. Pete is excited too... It helps us both feel less like failures. Now please excuse me while I go get really excited!

I think I have been on more interviews this year than any other point in my life. I have also recieved more rejection letters than I care to count. It is so discouraging for me. I am not looking for a hobby. I am looking so I can take care of my kids. It doesn't help that I am anxious that if I do find something I will have to put my boys in the care of strangers. I don't think I have ever felt more discouraged than I do right now. I hope one of the two that I am in the middle of pans out. Pete is stressed because he can't make enough - child support takes some, otherwise we would be okay. I am just running out of time. I want something that will help me out later on down the road. Something with good money and good benefits.