Sunday, November 27, 2011

Can a person change?

I have been watching shows lately, many of them ask - Can a person change?

I think a person that wants to change, can. The Lord can work wonders. I have seen the Atonement of Christ work wonders, in my life and the lives of the people around me. The only problem with change, there is a past that was not in alignment with what you are now. There is something that needed to cause the change.

People, the flawed people, have a hard time letting go of what is in the past. It makes it more difficult for someone who really needs it to change. When the people around them don't let the past go, it is an ever present spectre in our lives. It comes back to knock you backwards. Change is not an easy thing to accomplish. It is a journey, I am still on this journey. Sometimes, I wish the past could just be forgotten. I want to scream - "I AM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE!!!!!!!!"

Please, forget the things I did to offend, and I will try to forget your bad stuff. Please forgive me, while I try to forgive you. Please trust that I am trying my best to be my best self I will be patient and trust that you are doing the same.

The past is something that people don't need thrown in their faces, I hope I can be the person that leaves yours alone. I guess it is all part of my journey. I had to type this tonight, my mind was swimming.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


It is entirely cliche to be posting this on Thanksgiving, but I don't care. I have so much to be Thankful for.

I was sitting in the car yesterday on the way to Devri's house for Thanksgiving and we drove past the Salt Lake Temple. I had such warm feelings in my heart, knowing that I can have eternity. It had never been possible until this month. I am amazed at the blessings I see. Life isn't perfect, we still need to be out on our own, which means I need to find a full time job, but it is so much better in important ways.

I am Thankful for my job. It gives me something to do, but I think in the long run it will help me both in my chosen career and in my home life. I am able to talk to people that might help me to be able to help Jackson.

Pete and I are so much better and we were never really bad. There are so many changes I see in him and myself that make a world of difference in our lives. I believe people can change, I have seen it and experienced it. It is so amazing the way the Lord works in our lives.

Lately I have seen prayers answered, that I had forgotten about, in unexpected ways. I know the Lord is aware of us and loves us.

Happy Thanksgiving, may your lives be richly blessed.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The best birthday ever.

I need to blog this now or I will forget. Though I am not sure how true that is.

November 4, 2011 we drove down to Saratoga Springs to spend the night with Devri. We drove into Salt Lake City after getting the kids squared away and did a session at the Temple there with Devri and Brian and Janene and Jason. It was awesome in the truest sense of the word. It was a beautiful session and we went to The Garden Restaurant in the Joseph Smith Memorial building for dessert afterwards. Afterwards, we drove home to Devri's in the snow.

The best was yet to come.

November 5, 2011 we went back to the Salt Lake Temple and this time took our boys. We were sealed for Time and all Eternity in a beautiful ceremony. I don't remember the words. I just remember being so happy. I never thought we would be there. I thought I was okay with it. I had made my peace with my decisions. Then Pete got sick and suddenly the Church was important again. I never stopped believing, I just think it took awhile for me to truly forgive myself.

Anyway, Pete got sick, and he started looking at life. Suddenly this stubborn person I married was worried about how he left relationships with people. Things suddenly touched him in ways they hadn't before. It was a long journey, but we made it to the Temple in the best birthday present ever. We had about 20 people there with us - All my sisters - Chelsea, Devri & Brian, Taryn & David, My mom and dad, Grandma & Grandpa Linville, My friend Janene and her husband, Jason, Friends from our ward - Jason and Kari Peterson, Peggy Denton (her husband Gary came and took pictures for me), & Clayton and Deycie Hamilton, My friend Holly from college, My mom's cousin YuRee Hall, Pete's friend Dee and his wife Tamara, and I think I got everyone.

Afterwards we went to The Garden for Lunch. I think they were a bit overwhelmed with the size of our group. Ethan's friend Tashina was watching Michael at Temple square We have kind of adopted her into our family unofficially. It was just a happy day. The cold just didn't affect me, even Wyatt giving us trouble during the pictures didn't dampen my mood. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures at this moment to upload.

I am so grateful for the love and support of everyone as we made this journey. I can't wait to see what else is in store.

I love my family and am so glad I have the opportunity to be with them forever.

To tie back into the title, November 5, 2011 was my 30th birthday. It was a perfect birthday gift and perfect party. We went to Devri's after the temple and she had made me a Caramel cake and bought me ice cream. It was fun that she would do that for me. Love you Dev and Bri!