Physician, heal thyself..
The one thing I am struggling to wrap my head around is this feeling of depression that I have identified recently. As a counselor, you try to help people develop coping skills, you recommend counseling, you do what you can to help.
Also as a counselor, you find yourself trying to cope with the ways you help others. I have experienced depression before. It's been about 18 years since I really battled it, but this time it's different. I was able to root out a cause 18 years ago. I was able to pinpoint a reason and actively fight. This time, I just feel my energy sapped, overwhelming dread, and a million other little things with no reason in sight. I am always on the verge of tears. It takes so much more energy to try to be what people need me to be, what I need me to be.
I don't really feel like I can talk about it because there is nothing to talk about. We can say it is related to losing my dad, but that is likely only part of it because this was there before that happened as I have discovered by looking back.
The really sad part is I don't know what I need. It is not as bad when I keep busy, but sometimes it is difficult to have the energy to keep busy. My head is usually at a dull ache so focus struggles to come.
For the time being I am doing the best I can. I am trying to be more mindful of my moods, I just need people to be patient with me. I will be okay, I am just not necessarily okay right now. I am not posting this as a cry for help, but as a need to identify what I am feeling and express it to no one.
Also as a counselor, you find yourself trying to cope with the ways you help others. I have experienced depression before. It's been about 18 years since I really battled it, but this time it's different. I was able to root out a cause 18 years ago. I was able to pinpoint a reason and actively fight. This time, I just feel my energy sapped, overwhelming dread, and a million other little things with no reason in sight. I am always on the verge of tears. It takes so much more energy to try to be what people need me to be, what I need me to be.
I don't really feel like I can talk about it because there is nothing to talk about. We can say it is related to losing my dad, but that is likely only part of it because this was there before that happened as I have discovered by looking back.
The really sad part is I don't know what I need. It is not as bad when I keep busy, but sometimes it is difficult to have the energy to keep busy. My head is usually at a dull ache so focus struggles to come.
For the time being I am doing the best I can. I am trying to be more mindful of my moods, I just need people to be patient with me. I will be okay, I am just not necessarily okay right now. I am not posting this as a cry for help, but as a need to identify what I am feeling and express it to no one.
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