Now that most of our crisis is over I have time to reflect. I am grateful for the blessings and tender mercies I saw through most of Pete's illness. They helped me keep perspective and get through.
First of all - I found I was strong enough to go through that. The only thing harder would have been having one of the boys sick, but even then I would be grateful for Pete being there to lean on.
I also remembered I do have a testimony of Jesus Christ and his love for us. Our prayers are answered. Sometimes this happens in ways I didn't think of, but somehow everything worked out. Its funny sometimes how your solutions are not always Heavenly Father's. I am very thankful for a Relief Society president that listens and understands me but also listens to promptings of the holy ghost.
I realized children are resiliant. My boys put up with a lot of shuffling and time away from mommy. Friends and family were so supportive through all of it.
I learned that true friends aren't necessarily the kind you hang out with all the time. I had friends that I haven't talked to for years inspire me and give me the comfort that I needed.
I have been amazed by the softening I have seen in Pete, There is still conflict, I can see that, but I can see the strides he has taken through this whole thing. I know that the conflict will get worse, that is the way of it, but he will come through a much better man, and he is already pretty good.
I know things happen for a reason and I am no believer in coincidence.
I also felt for the first time that I want to get myself ready to go to the Temple. This is the first time in my life I have felt this desire. I am so grateful for the Atonement, I am trying to work my way back to where I need to be.