Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Sitting alone in an empty house.

I miss my boys! They have been visiting Pete's mom since the 24th of June. We sent them there so she could have time with them and we could move. Its a good thing too, I might not have had room for boys. Anyway, I missed Jackson's birthday, which is a first and that made me sad. I try to be brave, but it only gets me so far.

I started work last week. It is so weird to be working again. I am already worrying about what my boys are going to do without me. Pete doesn't have a job yet, but I am still worrying about who will take care of my boys without me, especially when classes start up. I will make myself nuts.

I like feeling needed at my job. My boss likes me, she hired me because I worked for her before. I just sent her an email to see if she had anything and she found something. This was part of the reason we had to move. She needed me here for today and then needed me a week sooner.

Anyway, I got a text from Jackson's primary teacher in Ririe today. She wanted my address to send him some cards because they didn't get to say goodbye. She reminded me of something I sometimes forget.

I worry a lot about Jackson being so busy. I worry that he will get on people's nerves. I worry they won't like him. I forget just how special he is sometimes. Anyway I had thanked her for her patience with his busy self and he reminded me "He is busy, but he is so caring and loving. He taught me more than I taught him. And I really appreciated him for that."

I guess in the worry and the keeping him out of things and the frustration, I forget to see my boys sweet spirits and remember how caring and loving they really are. I get the good and the bad, and forget so often to enjoy the good. I need to do more of that. Anyway, her text touched me and reminded me what great kids I have. I think having them away has helped me appreciate them more too. I am sure I will be ready for bedtime the first day they are back, but at least I will get a big hug first.