Thanks and Giving....

Its amazing how different one year feels from another, even being in a similar financial position. I am trying to see the blessing in between all the crap. I am blessed with a wonderful family I can turn to if I need to and that includes my in laws too. I really don't get the whole awful mother in law thing. I am thankful for perspective that helps me see this is only a moment in a bigger plan. That really helps sometimes because sometimes life is just kind of crappy.

I am thankful for my little boys and trying to be better at not yelling at them. Sometimes I succeed better than others, but that's something to improve on, right.

I watched The Forgotten Carols on DVD the other day. I have this problem where I can't stop bawling. I am such a baby, but those songs just penetrate my soul. I am getting teary just thinking about it, lol. A big baby, I tell you what.

I am grateful for opportunities to serve and help my brothers and sisters sometimes. Poor Mac and Jess had their car break down on the way up for Thanksgiving... I was grateful to find some way to help them. This isn't about patting myself on the back. I just like to be in a position to help when the need arises and I very much appreciate the help I get from Uncle Rick every time I find myself stuck in Montana. I think we are here to help each other and sometimes that is easy to forget. I am also grateful for a husband that usually has the same idea to help that idea. It saves on negotiation.

I am grateful for the opportunity to go back to school and finally to have some idea what I want to be when I grow up. It started as a prompting but it made more sense than anything I had come up with and bonus: I can use it as an opportunity to help others from the mistakes that I have made. I still can't figure out why I never thought of it before, I guess I wasn't ready.

I am thankful for the times I am able to look back over situations and see a delicately orchestrated series of events. I am glad things are guided by one with the plan and perspective greater than mine. So back to The Forgotten Carols I will leave you some lyrics to the song at the end that really got to me:

What I Need

All I ever wanted,
All I ever dreamed of,
Everything I hoped and all the things I prayed for
Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given,
I've been given what I need.

A mansion on the hill or love like in the movies
Perfect little lives, where no one has a problem
Instead of all those things I thought I really wanted
I've been given what I need.

Even when I didn't understand,
When I thought you had no heart,
Thank you for rejecting my demand
And always giving me the better part.

All I ever wanted,
All I ever dreamed of,
Everything I hoped and all the things I prayed for
Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given
I've been given what I need.

I am also grateful for the inspiration of Michael McClean all the songs that he writes that just seem to exactly describe what I am feeling.